How To Deal With Rejection (Part 2)

2. The Flamboyant Talker. We all want the respect, admiration, andappreciation of our love ones. No one likes to be disliked. No one likes his ideas to be disapproved or taken for granted. But when our personality clashes with other people, when people start disliking us or start to lose respect in us, the flamboyant talker tries to cover up for this low feeling caused by rejection by trying to get everyone’s attention. He measures self-importance through peer acceptance. In the case of pastors - acceptance by our colleagues. Acceptance is everyone’s comfort zone.

So how does one try to gain people’s respect and approval? In the case of the flamboyant talker he tries to gain people’s attention by being loud. He may become vocal about issues and call for people’s attention with his flamboyant personality. In crowds or meetings he becomes an animated, vibrant, and vivacious talking machine. Too often he goes to the sidelines and does not make a point. But the attention he draws gives

him the high feeling of being noticed, of feeling important and not rejected.

3. The Show-Off. Other people try to cover up for their experiences of rejection by diverting people’s attention on what they have acquired, attained, and experienced.

People may want to use educational attainments to gain people’s respect which they desperately needed. Although academic pursuits should be taken for professional growth and self-improvement, some people have used academic degrees to get the respect and acceptance they wanted. Since our society today rates us based on our educational attainment and success in life, we also use the same position and power to get the self-importance we needed so much.

To bury past feelings of rejection, we cover it up by gaining people’s approval and attention through acquisition of stuffs that make us feel good about ourselves like new cellphones, laptops, cars, gadgets, clothes and other toys that subtly gives us a feeling of importance.

People also use their experience to gain leverage and advantage over those with less experience. To cover up possible rejection of people they share their wealth of experiences to draw people’s confidence on them as if to say, “Hey,better listen to me. I am more experienced than anyone else.”

Wealth, power, education, and experience are not bad in themselves but if used as the foundation of our self-worth, self-acceptance to combat people’s rejection and gain their approval it becomes a wrong motivation for people’s acceptance.

4. The Power Ruler. Other people resort to martial law power. Rather than win people with conviction they impose their convictions on others. If majority of the people reject the Power Ruler’s opinion

s and ideas, the Power Ruler then uses his status, power, and influence to enforce acceptance. His assertiveness and cunning logic are used with manipulation to get people saying “yes!”

Leaders who felt rejected are at times too foolish and hardheaded to look at their own flaws and understand other people’s point of view. Rather than go down to people’s level to listen and try to make a connection, they respond to people’s rejection by imposing their power and authority upon them. Instead of working towards mutual understanding they inflict force on others using subversive tactics of clever persuasion and logical reasoning. The Power Ruler become foolish enough to win people’s approval by intimidation and looks.

The Power Ruler uses power and intimation to enforce his views and convictions rather than use gentle persuasion through the power of the Holy Spirit . They don’t work to to win people’s heart. Instead they impose their ideas on them. This person believes that he has gained acceptance when people holds his views even if it means people follow them without truly becoming convicted.