TEN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Thoughts To Consider Before You Get Engaged !

"An engagement is a promise to marry, and also refers to the time between proposal and marriage." Wikipedia

I am now happily married to my ex-girlfriend for 7 years. Four years before we got married, I had to work as youth pastor in a city church in Guam-Micronesia mission for one year. Leaving her behind, the experience was one of the loneliest period in my life. It was during that time I came to realize how much I love her. Trying to find the reasons why I love her and why I want to marry her, I got inspired to write these ten rules of engagement. So before you get engaged, think thrice.

My wife passed all these rules. May it guide you as well:

1. Don't marry the person who doesn't make God first in his/her life.
Of course who would want to marry someone who does not believe in the God you worship and does not practice the Christian standard you uphold. Spirituality matters most. God is the center of all meaningful and successful relationships. Don't marry the person who just goes to church; marry the person who knows God intimately.

2. Don't marry the person who doesn't make you first in his/her human relationships.
Why marry the person who loves his/her talents more than you? Why marry the person who loves his/her goals and ambitions more than you? Why marry the person who puts more time for sports and other pursuits than you? His/her first duty is to his/her family. Don't marry the person who'd rather do something else than be with you. Marry someone who values his/her relationship with God and you more than anything else. Marry the person who puts more importance on his partner's interest than his/her own. The greatest gift you can ever give to someone is to give yourself. That relationship is to take precedence over anything else, over everything except God himself.

3. Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry the person you think you can't live without.
In short, marry the person you truly love. Others marry for fun, several marry for company, some marry for convenience, quite a few for a committed love. Ask yourself, "Is he/she the person I really love so much that I can't live without?"

4. Don't marry the person who talks more about himself/herself than he/she can talk about you.
A self-centered person brags about his/her achievements, goals, and success. A true lover always looks for something beautiful in his/her partner and never fails to discover and appreciate the unique and peculiar qualities of his/her love. He/she chooses to talk more, in private and in public, about his/her partner's characteristics than his/her own. You want someone who admire you, not himself/herself or your neighbor.

5. Don't marry the person who doesn't have a mature understanding of life's struggles and pains.
Only someone who has a deeper understanding of life's struggles can truly appreciate the value of relationships. He/she can grasp the true meaning of the realities of life; its discouragements and pains, its hardships and troubles, its mishaps and casualties. Marry someone who can show you what life is. Marry someone who can help you develop a more realistic view of yourself and your personal limitations.

To be continued tomorrow...