TEN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (Part 2)

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6. Don't marry the person who'’s not sensitive to your needs.
Insensitivity leads to misunderstandings. Marry the person who can teach you to be more sensitive to his/her needs; a person who is willing to know your emotional and spiritual needs and unselfishly fill it in. Marry the person who can communicate with you his/her ideas, plans, fears, failures, and frustrations.

7. Don't marry the person who'’s not quick to admit his/her error.
Humility, meekness, and forgiveness. Before you judge your partner, are you quick to admit your own faults? Learn to communicate deeply. Romance involves mental and spiritual intimacy. Don't marry the person who thinks he/she has every right to judge others but not himself/herself.

8. Don't marry the person who wants to become more of what you expected him/her to be than what he/she ought to be.
Partners should be able to compliment each other's strengths and compensate for his/her partner's weaknesses. Each person should be able to say, "Let me tell you who I am. I am good at this, I am almost great at that, I am poor at this, and I am embarrassingly poor at that. That's me. And here's what I think I can do here. Does that match up with what you expect me to do?" If he/she says "yes, I accept you!" then go for the bells with no questions asked. In the end each one should be able to say, "I discovered what it meant to become more of me and less of what others expected." Follow this rule and your life will not be under the mercy of other people who are trying to control your life.

9. Don't marry the person who says, "I love you dear but I'm not ready to go where we need to go, and do what I need to do because my life is not just to be your husband/wife."
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This does not mean that both will now have the same favorite food, favorite color, and favorite movie. Relationships should not be characterized by competition but by mutuality. Isn't it nice to hear your partner say, "I love you dear and I'm ready to go where we need to go, and do what I need to do because my life is to be your husband/wife."

10. Don't marry a perfect person because you are not an angel.
Most of us are looking for angels and not looking for wives/husbands. Don't ask for more than what you can give. Looking for somebody whose faith is so strong that he/she can evangelize the world when you yourself don't even pray to God. Looking for someone whose figure can be featured in the Glamor magazine when you just broke the weighing scale? Be realistic. Be humanly realistic. No one is perfect. Love is a developed capacity. Everyone has a need for love and born with the potential to love. Love grows in a home. Love loves imperfections.