How To Deal With Rejection (Conclusion)

Hi guys! I have been out for almost a week. Just came back from a leadership seminar. Let me conclude this article. May it help you in your journey.- Pastor Ardie

DEALING WITH REJECTION

So how do we deal with these feelings of rejection? So what do we do when we get rejected by the people we serve, love, and respect? We often respond to rejection in anger. Is it a bad reaction? How do we deal with these feelings of rejection.

Ever been to a party where no one noticed you? Have you been put in office and discovered no one wants to follow you? Perhaps a friend betrayed you. You wife doesn’t believe in you. Even your dog hates you.

How do we deal with rejection? We all want the respect, admiration, and appreciation of our love ones. No one likes to be disliked. No one likes his ideas to be disapproved or taken for granted. So what do we do when we get rejected by the people we serve, love, and respect?

We often respond to rejection in anger. Is it a bad reaction? Assessing your anger and frustration helps you see whether your anger and frustration are valid or not. If its not, then there is room for growth as you evaluate your mistakes, shortcomings, or personality flaws and grow from the experience.

All of us have a desire to be loved and liked. People are created for relationships. And within that framework our desire is to make others happy and in the process become happy in return. No one wants to love and be rejected. We want to love and be loved.

People often respond to rejection in anger. Is it a bad reaction?

Anger in and of itself is not a sin. God put this emotion in us. “Be angry,” he urges, “and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26 nkjv). Anger is not a sin, but it can lead to sin. Perhaps your anger doesn’t lead you to shed blood, but does it make you touchy, irritable, quick-tempered, quick to take offense?

But don’t we become touchy, irritable, quick tempered when people reject us? The next time your are fuming with anger ask yourself, “why am i fuming with anger?” You can always narrow the answer down to one word- rejection.

You hurt. And because you get hurt, you get hot. Anger is your defense mechanism.

Now that we know the common cause of anger- rejection- what is the cure? What is the opposite of rejection?

Acceptance!

If rejection causes anger, wouldn’t acceptance cure it?

Max Lucado has a very good insight on this:

A point we need to take is the story of Cain and Abel. When God rejected the offering of Cain’s own choosing how did he react? The text gives an answer. “The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. So Cain became very angry and felt rejected” (Gen. 4:4–5, ).

If rejection by heaven makes you mad at others, wouldn’t acceptance from heaven stir your love for them?... Remember the verse? “He who is forgiven little loves little.” We can replace the word forgiven with accepted and maintain the integrity of the passage. “He who is accepted little loves little.” If we think God is harsh and unfair, guess how we’ll treat people. Harshly and unfairly. But if we discover that God has doused us with unconditional love, would that make a difference?

So what turned the apostle Paul from a bully to a teddy bear?He encountered Christ. Or, to use his phrase, he was hidden in Christ: “Your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3 niv).

Max describes this thought beautifully in his book A Love Worth Giving: Through Christ, God has accepted you. Think about what this means. I’m scooting forward and talking softly again: You cannot keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you. Rejections are like speed bumps on the road. They come with the journey. Tacky purse peddlers populate the world. You’re going to get cut, dished, dropped, and kicked around. You cannot keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you. How? By letting his acceptance compensate for their rejection.

When the world has turned its back on you, remember whose you are! God has accepted you. God loved you even before you have known Him. Let His love that accepted you just as you are melt your heart and say, "People can reject me but God has already accepted me. He has forgiven me and is always willing to forgive me. My life is now hidden in Christ. I may not win the applause of the world but I can applaud God." Why? He who is forgiven much loves much. Or should I say, he who is accepted much, loves much.