What I Want to Be As a Pastor-Dad (final)

Here’s a list of what I want to be for my babies:

Loving Dad - No one can love them more than I do. That means exercising enough patience on them when they grumble. Loving them for who they are not simply for what they can do and should be. Being appreciative of their best efforts and being thankful for the simple things they can do. My love for them will not diminish when they fail or increase when they succeed. I will be a loving Dad whether they succeed or fail.  A loving Dad whether they err or behave.  A loving father whether they remain a Christian or not.

Dependable Dad -  I want to be there when they need me.  That includes changing their diapers and assisting them drink their vitamins. I want to be there when they call. Attending their  simple school play or finding money to finance their school’s nuclear project.  I want them to dream with the assurance that Daddy will be there as a dependable buddy to help them with their dreams and help them make it a reality.  I will be there when they need me the most and when they simply need a friend.

Playmate Dad - I want my kids to grow up enjoying playtime. Expose them to different games and sports. Perhaps in doing so, they will discover which game give them the most fun. Perhaps in doing so, help them find their career in their playtime. Perhaps help them discover their inborn talents and further develop it through play. After all, we usually enjoy the career that we enjoyed role-playing with when we were young.

Friend Dad - I want to be my babies’ bestfriend. To be able to go down to their level and hear about their crushes and stories in school. I want to know what’s going on in their lives and take time to know the problems they face. The adjustments they need to make.  I want to be a friend who simply listens. Watch movie together. Go malling together.  Simply have fun together.

Mentor Dad - I’d teach them about the basic skills I know in life. From changing flat tires to replacing the computer’s CPU. A little photography. Editing videos. Blogging. Painting. Creative arts. Poetry. Sketching. Appliance repair. Pathfindering. Boyscout stuff. Girlscout stuff.  Baking. Cooking.  Basic skills in life. Discovering your career. Finding the love of your life. Surviving life’s challenges.

Counselor Dad - When needed - be a counselor. Most of the times listening is enough. That would be enough.

Spiritual Dad- I want to be their foremost discipler. Not their youth pastor. Not their Sabbath school teacher.  After all, I am a pastor.  Teach them what I know about the Bible and really try to model it. Home worship. Sing praises. Be creative spiritually. Take them in my ministry activities.  Help them grow spiritually. Assist them in their journey as they discover, meet, and know Christ. It has to be intentional not just  mere modeling. A one-on-one discipleship.   To pray with them every night just before we sleep.

What I Want to Become as a Pastor-Dad

My wife dropped a bombshell on me last night. “If you don’t have time for your children now that they are young, you wont have time for them in the future.”

Parenting is tough. Sean is turning four this September 2009. Fiona just turned one year last July. Another baby is coming out this December.

And my wife did make a strong point last night. Let me confess my sin. Like typical Dads, all we want to do during our free time is to relax from the week’s labor. We want to untangle our busy mind and simply rest from anything that requires our brain to work or our bodies to move. We become couch potatoes on Sundays or in my case - Mondays - our family day.

All that my wife wanted me to do was to spend quality time with my children. Good movies are good - but teaching Sean to play the guitar is even better. Flexing his three year old fingers to hold the crayons right is the best preparation for oil painting. Taking the ball for a three-point shoot in Sean’s four-foot tall basketball ring is much better than playing computer games.

There is something about God’s procreation that teaches us to love and nurture that love. I believe that parenting is discipleship to the very core. And you can only teach if you have enough love. You can only give what you have. Therefore, as parents, the struggle is to be filled with love at all times so you can always have something to share.

Each of us grew with a different family background, childhood experiences, and educational training. When asked about our childhood recollections, what can we improve on our experiences that will make us better parents to the next generation? And in my case - to the next generation pastor’s kids (PK’s).

...to be continued

MY LIFE STORY: How God Called Me Into the Ministry

Every pastor has a story. Some peculiar. Some extra spectacular. My calling was more of a process. How I became a pastor is a long story. I have written part of the story in fulfillment of my chaplaincy requirement during my ministerial internship training. I am sharing it with you. May it help inspire others who are having doubts whether they have been called into the pastoral ministry.

Feel free to download and save the pdf attachment.

Excerpts:

"Perhaps you wonder if it was God who really called me at all. My story is quite different from the experiences of other pastors who have been called into the ministry. There are those tragic accidents that led to a second life encounter with God. A demon possession that ended in spiritual deliverance. Or the tender wooing of the Spirit in a child’s heart that eventually led to a decision to become a minister. And countless extraordinary ways by which God transformed the life of an individual and called him to the ministry.

"As I attempted to excel academically, my quest for an understanding of what righteousness by faith deepened. As far as I can remember, I know I have a relationship with God, but I just did not have an assurance of salvation. I often wondered and thought , “How can I be sure that God loves me and that I have this assurance of salvation.” "Since a young child, I was somehow thought that I have to obey all of the ten commandments in order to be saved. And to be kept saved, it has to be kept perfectly. And I was so far from obeying all ten of it. While in college this fear of hell haunted me.

"I lived a fearful life before. As a Christian I lived to please other people and God. He was to me a cosmic policeman who is always out there to check for my inadequacies and failures. The God that I have been taught was tyrant God.

"By his grace He cleansed me from my sin and promised power over it. During that time he gave me the assurance that all I needed to do was to accept him fully by faith. My part was simply to receive Him in my life through faith. As simple as that. From then on I understood the power of the everlasting gospel and received the assurance of salvation which was missing in my life." "After my father narrated that story, he reminded me of his solemn oath to God many years ago. That story sent a shiver on my spine. So I had been dedicated to God’s service a long time ago. And God recalled my Dad’s promise by calling me personally the night of February 1991 by writing his call with the illuminating streak of a falling star.

Conservatives Vs. Liberals

It seems that there will be an ongoing battle between Christian conservatives and liberals until Christ comes. My church is not excempted  from that.  Sadly, I have met friends and members of the church who left the church as a result of the crossfire between hypocrisy and various cause to implement change for the sake of change.

And how you define these two groups will be relative on how you view yourself. 

Here’s my personal definition of conservatives and liberals.

Conservatives:  Christians whose mission is to keep the unity & purity of the church at the expense of the church mission of saving the lost.

Liberals:  Christians whose mission is to save the lost at the expense of losing the church’s unity & purity. 

I am for one a conservative in terms of upholding the Bible as the standard of faith and practice; a liberal when it comes to tolerance over those different from my  beliefs and preferences in terms of ministry methodologies and strategies.

I am a conservative over doctrines taught by the Bible; a liberal in terms of acceptance of people who's still growing in their understanding of truth.

I am a conservative in upholding my church’s traditional values;a liberal and selective in terms of keeping tradition just  for the sake of keeping them. 

I am a conservative in terms of keeping the unity and purity of the church; a liberal and inclusive in fulfilling the mission of the church to reach all people not just my own. 

I am a conservative in terms of radical discipleship; a liberal in terms of creative leadership.

I am a conservative in keeping and obeying my understanding of truth; a liberal in sharing them to others. 

To end,  how I wish the conservatives and liberals will first be more loving, more accommodating, more prayerful, and tolerant of each others view  while not sacrificing the mission of the church to seek and to save the lost. Friends of mine have abandoned the church because both the conservatives and the liberals were more interested in being right  than yielding their rights. 

Leading Life-Changing Life-Groups

LEADING LIFE-CHANGING LIFE-GROUPS

A SMALL-GROUP LEADERSHIP TRAINING COURSE in eight sessions

by Pastor Ardison D. Bernardo

Don’t miss this basic training on how to lead and grow healthy LifeGroups (well known as small groups) in your student ministries and singing groups. Often times we are engaged in ministry without really experiencing dynamic life-changing experiences within our groups. Learn how to put an authentic and accountable life-to-life ministry within your group by experiencing genuine Christian community so we can effectively witness to others.

Session One "Small Groups: part of God's Kingdom plan" - a brief look at the theology, Biblical background, and history of small groups and the part they play in creating Kingdom community

Session Two "Life-changing small groups: some definitions" - five definitions of the most effective small group model for the contemporary church; how to determine whether existing groups are functioning to their best potential

Session Three "Small group values: the key to growth" - an overview of the values or principles which govern the life of the group and determine whether it will be a blessing or otherwise to the church

Session Four "Small group meetings and small group life" - what happens in a typical small group or cell meeting, and the importance of extending the life of the group beyond its weekly meetings

Session Five "The Goal of small groups: holiness and harvest" - the two principle objectives of small group ministry: the growth of believers toward maturity in Christ, and numerical growth through evangelism

Session Six "Small group leadership" - the small group leader's job description, personal qualities and skills of small group leadership, leadership principles, and some of the challenges small group leaders might expect

Session Seven "Developing a small group network" - how to start, the need to start small, the importance of adequate time for preparation and training, how to invite non-Christians and non-Adventists to the group, developing a strategy for multiplying groups

Session Eight "Maintaining the network" - the challenge of the long haul, sustaining interest, the need for a larger vision for the future

Date: Friday, 7:00 p.m., January 10, 2009

Saturday, 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., January 11, 2009

Venue: Hall, AUP Swimming pool, Putingkahoy, Silang, Cavite